2012 // 2013: Resolve

Sicily, April 2012

So last year was a pretty big one for us.  We got to grips with being parents to Mister G (at least somewhat. It's hard since he persists in growing and changing), we travelled to France and Sicily and had a combined marriage / baptism celebration which was stressful and profound and funny all at once.  

I'm hoping that 2013 will see further growth and change.

I don't really have a list of resolutions as such - be kinder, eat more fruit, you know, my perpetual goals.
But a big one, I think, is to work out what I want to do and make an effort to pursue that, rather than sitting in an office, hating on my job. 

My ideas of success have changed so much in the last couple of years - even more so since having G and finally, to breaking point, in the last few months of attempting to balance a stressful, time-consuming (like regular 3AM time consuming) job as a city solicitor with spending time with my family.  And, I suppose, I failed to do so. 

so I quit.

London, December 2012

I leave at the end of January. 

This decision has been, so far, incredibly exciting and terrifying in equal and regularly oscillating measure.

Everything in my training and my five years of qualified practice have encouraged and required me to be risk averse, to be sensible.  I don't yet know what I'm going to do next, but I do know that I'd rather leap and fail than find myself ten years down the road looking at how I sat in my own certain misery.  That's not who I want to be, nor the wife and mother I want to be.  So.

Maybe it's all terribly self-indulgent, and silly and irresponsible and I can't expect more from a job, maybe I'll be back in a few months eating crow...  but fuck it, if I don't try to make myself and my family a happier life, who will.

more on this soon, I'm sure,

to leaning into the wind.

Family Portraits 3.1 and 3.2 from my phone

see our other, less literal, family portraits here